Want to know the best secrets to having a healthy relationship? These tips will set you up for success.
Being in a happy and secure relationship can be extremely exciting and fulfilling.
I?m giving you the tips that I believe are the foundation of a healthy relationship.
You are going to learn about communication skills, relationship boundaries, interdependence in relationships and more.
After learning these secrets you are going to have the infrastructure to build a healthy relationship.
Best secrets for a healthy relationship.
1. Relationship goals
When entering into a relationship it?s so easy to become caught up in the excitement before actually having any discussion about what each other needs or wants from it. Meanwhile if you have been in a relationship for a considerable time you now have an understanding of what?s working and what isn?t.
Having deep conversations gives both parties an opportunity to delve into what each other?s dreams, hopes, aspirations and desires are in life for an ideal healthy relationship.
To make sure this exploration of each other?s goals are successful arrange a suitable time where you can sit down undisturbed and in a quiet setting.
Each write down your goals and values for the future. Think about what your future would look like. If you?re struggling with this, imagine you wave a magic want and tomorrow you wake up and your life is exactly as you would like.
It?s important to understand that you may both have different goals and different time lines. By sharing what?s important to you in a respectful manner it can create a deeper connection for both of you and strengthen the intimacy.
Goals need to be realistic and something that you can create together. For some this may seem like a daunting task. If this is the case start small. It may be a trip away together. On a larger scale it may be that you would like to renovate a house together.
But remember that it?s not all about the destination. Enjoy the journey too.
2. Communication skills
Communication skills can make or break a relationship. So it?s so important to have effective and respectful communication where you actively listen and also feel heard to have a healthy relationship.
When entering into a disagreement it can be so easy to become caught up in the moment and start yelling insults or the opposite ? give the silent treatment.
Try to stay focused and in the moment. Think about what you?re saying. What your actions are. Are you articulating respectfully what your needs are as well as listening to your partners needs?
Here is an example of active listening. ?I heard you when you said you sometimes have to work late – but when you don?t ring me I start to worry that something may be wrong.?
This is showing your partner that they have been heard and it also gives them an opportunity to add more detail if necessary.
To add more understanding, expression of feelings and clarification around the conversation try to ask open-ended questions rather than just replying ?yes? or ?no?.
Stay on topic. Try not to stray and become involved in personal criticism.
Try and look for solutions rather than problems. By focusing on the solutions you are looking for a way forward that will suit both of you and validate both your feelings.
Romance can come and go in a relationship. Especially if you have been in the relationship a long while. The excitement and mystery surrounding the relationship can fade so it?s so important to keep reigniting the romance.
A key to bringing the romance back into your relationship is scheduling the time. Organise a date, spend time as a couple, watch a romance movie or go for a romantic walk. What ever your ideal date is true romance is about being thoughtful, showing your partner that you care and being able to express the love you have for each other.
If you?re looking for date ideas here are inexpensive ways to spend time with your partner and demonstrate your love.
? A picnic at the beach.
? Write each other a love letter.
? A movie night snuggled up on the couch.
? Visit a museum.
? Grab a coffee and find your new favourite spot. It could be a park, a beach, botanical gardens etc.
? Create your own spa experience at home. Light candles, run a bubble bath, massage.
? Learn a new skill together. It may be art, photography or gardening. Anything that interests you both.
? Go stargazing.
There are so many more adventures that you could do together to create a healthy relationship. It?s all about making the time for each other, adding surprises such as a sweet note and creating memories that you can cherish and look back on with pleasure.
To create a healthy relationship trust is vital. Trust is the security blanket of the relationship where we have confidence in our partner remaining loyal and feeling assured that you are able to rely on them to be there in the good times and the bad. Trust is their unconditional love which offers you a safe and protective space to be yourself and to be able to confide in them.
Frequently we can feel vulnerable ? as if we?re letting our guards down when we open our hearts to trust someone. But without trust it is difficult to preserve the relationship let alone have a healthy relationship.
To build a foundation of trust try having honest deep conversations discussing your fears, secrets and feelings which encourages listening thinking and being respectful.
No relationship is perfect and having trust in your relationship gives you a platform and peace of mind in which you can overcome any obstacles or problems that may arise.
To fully commit to creating trust and to evolve your relationship it?s imperative to be completely open and transparent in your communication and both be committed to building a thriving relationship.
If trust issues were apparent in a previous relationship it?s important that you don?t hold your current partner responsible for the actions of others. Remember that they were not involved or responsible in previous relationships and each relationship is unique.
5. Relationship boundaries
Setting relationship boundaries can be complex and problematic. Boundary setting can depend on your own values and life experience. So how do you make healthy boundaries in relationships?
Talk honestly with each other and communicate what you find acceptable and unacceptable. It?s important to be on the same page and not sacrifice your own needs thinking that it will keep your partner satisfied. If you?re not honest with each other you may find down the track that you feel resentment towards your partner.
By having clear relationship boundaries it creates balance in the relationship and everyone knows where they stand. This can offer more security and closeness in the relationship and reduces the opportunities for conflict and stress.
Relationship boundaries are part of self-care. They exist to ensure you have exceptional mental health and wellbeing. Arising from this grows a deep connection and intimacy that can harvest a flourishing relationship.
Boundaries can be in the form of emotional, physical, financial, digital, sexual and intellectual. Without boundaries it can be near impossible to have a successful and healthy relationship. It?s the foundation needed to build a healthy sustainable and respectful relationship.
6. Interdependence in relationships.
Interdependence is the balance of having a loving, emotionally connecting relationship whilst also maintaining a sense of self. This relationship type offers the independence to achieve personal growth and self-confidence which can build your self-esteem and help your overall well-being.
In interdependence relationships it?s really important to listen to each other and keep the line of communication open to keep the nurturing and intimacy growing whilst retaining that sense of self.
Whilst allowing time for personal interests there?s also the responsibility to be fair to your partner. Both parties need to feel heard and need to be vulnerable enough to achieve emotional intimacy to have a healthy relationship.
For an interdependence relationship to be successful focus on having clear communication, healthy boundaries, being open and honest, taking responsibility for your behaviours and actions and creating a space that allows for love and vulnerability.
Be mindful from the beginning of what this type of relationship looks like to you. Even though you both have interests outside of the relationship remember what brought you together in the first place. Celebrate the common ground that you both share.
7. Relationship Intimacy
Romantic relationships and intimacy are often considered as the sexual aspect of a relationship but it is so much more than that. Intimacy can be demonstrating vulnerability and communicating your feelings and desires. It can be sending a sweet note when you?re having a bad day or giving you encouragement to share your concerns and paying attention to your feelings and needs.
Trust in relationships is important to develop intimacy. You need to know that you can rely on each other for support through the good and the bad times. A healthy relationship requires trust and this tends to take time to cultivate.
Feeling safe within the relationship is paramount. This includes physically, emotionally and mentally. If you?re feeling like you?re walking on egg shells all the time then there is no foundation to build intimacy on.
By spending more time together, demonstrating empathy, showing physical affection and by prioritising each other you are on your way to building healthy relationship intimacy.
Building a healthy relationship takes time, patience and commitment from both parties. But with effort will come the reward.
This post was all about building a healthy relationship using the 7 secrets.
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